Welcome to one of the most boring and least read pages on the interwebs. It’s the privacy notice thingy that we’ve all had to waste a ton of time and money on because of “GDPR”.
It is now a requirement to have one of these pointless pages because a bunch of people who don’t understand how the internet works decided that they should introduce a bunch of legal red tape in a things they like to call GDPR – (General Data Protection Regulation), the DPA (Data Protection Act) and the PECR (Privacy and Electronic Communications Regulations).
In a nutshell it’s a bunch of law to protect consumers that no consumer would ever ask for unless they are a paranoid snowflake who gets offended at the mere thought of being offended.
My website address is: http://www.andiebrocklehurst.com. It’s run by little old me who sometimes using tracking to follow you around and pop ads in your face for things you might be interested in. If you sign up for my email list or buy something from me then because I am a marketer, you’re probably going to hear from me.
If you ever want to unsubscribe from things there are links in every email, etc. I make them big, bold and clear in the footer and if you’re too stupid to click a button then GDPR aint gonna save you anyway.
What personal data we collect and why we collect it
Blog comments are handles by Disqus. You can read their dull as shit policy at https://help.disqus.com/terms-and-policies/disqus-privacy-policy
When visitors leave comments on the site we might collect the data shown in the comments form, and also the visitor’s IP address and browser user agent string to help spam detection.
If you don’t know what a cookie is, it’s a big part of how all internet tracking works. It’s what remembers logins, it’s what tracks affiliate sales and tons of other stuff. Your internet experience is crap without cookies and we use them.
If you don’t want cookies then disable them in your browser. Just don’t start whining like a bitch when the internet doesn’t work very well for you anymore you paranoid foil hat wearing cockwomble.
Embedded content from other websites
Articles on this site may include embedded content (e.g. videos, images, articles, etc.). Embedded content from other websites behaves in the exact same way as if the visitor has visited the other website. If that is a shock to you then maybe you should read a couple of books on how the web works. Most normal people don’t give a rats arse.
We is tracking you!
Google Analytics, Facebook tracking pixels and probably some stuff I don’t even know is happening like web tracking stats done by the server.
You can read the appropriate privacy policies on their pages, they are probably written in more legal speak than this and they will almost certainly bore you senseless.
If you don’t want Facebook tracking pixels then do your own research about how to block them or whatever if that scares you. It shouldn’t though…
None of these things store any really personal data about you. They probably get your IP address which apparently is now considered “personal data” but as far as I’m aware knowing your IP is pretty useless.
If you submit your email to us to sign up for a list, it is stored somewhere. In our case this is with one of three mailing list providers (at the time of writing). They are MailerLite, Convertkit and Aweber and they do the data storage.
If you buy a product or obtain a gift via 100% discount coupon then you are going through a cart system. Ours is Thrivecart and again they have their own dull policies you can read if you really have no life.
A lot of my product delivery is done with ProductDyno. It uses email address as the login, etc. They clearly store some data. In the event you ask us to forget you, we can remove you from there as well but it does mean you will no longer have access to the product or our helpdesk.
We use Integromat
to process and pipe data between applications (it’s like Zapier but better). Their terms can be found on their website.
When you buy stuff from me, you will either pay through Stripe or PayPal. The only payment-based jibber jabber we keep on our site is how much you’ve spent and whether you paid with Stripe or PayPal.
No bank or card details are stored by us! We don’t have them. Stripe and Paypal have their own GDPR compliant statements.
Subscribing to my email list.
Now if this comes as a shock to anyone, they really should not be allowed to use a computer, but…
If you sign up for my email list you will get emails from me. Some will be content, some will be trying to make you buy things.
All emails have an unsubscribe link in them. If you ever want to stop getting my emails, just click the link rather than being a dick and hitting a spam button.
Your right to be forgotten/deleted/exterminated.
Well GDPR does not give us any extermination rights but you can ask to be forgotten. To do this you email me at [email protected]
and we’ll delete all the info we can find on you.
You won’t be able to access anything you purchased from me via the web anymore because the member systems I use need to have your name and email.
Just keep in mind if you ask me to forget you, you cannot contact me later and ask for access. I will just tell you I do not know you which will serve you right for being a bell-end.
I use social media a shed load. If you find and talk to me on one social platform I might reach out and say hello on another. That’s not me being a dick (well it might be but generally it isn’t), it’s just being nice and friendly.
It’s up to you if you follow me on social media, just keep in mind the platform is probably tracking the bejeebus out of you.
You can read full, legal sounding bollocksy terms and conditions on my legal page here: https://andrewbrocklehurst.com/legalnotices/ (no idea why you would want to though, its dull and tedious nonsense from my legal people)
That is all. Run along now.